i think God might be telling me something. i read tons of random blogs throughout the day as they pop-up in my inbox via google alerts. i typically just skim them to see if the mention of my home of employment is good, bad, etc. i had to pull this paragraph out from one of the posts and share it because i think God’s trying to tell me something:

I don’t know what my deal is, Adam. Like I said, nothing is wrong. But it’s not all right, either. Here I am, X marks the spot–the [insert christian school], the very bastion of Truth and pillar of Christian conservatism. Quietly, I doubt very much whether Christ would like the kingdom we’re building for him–I have no existential awareness of God. I cannot trace his hand. I have not experienced the power of the Spirit of God in my life to bring about change. Mostly its just been me, sitting knee to knee with a bunch of repeat-offenders in the accountability-group circle. We are very pious sinners around here, and we have the good-fortune of being mostly reformed, so we know how to outdo each other in admitting what sorts of dirty-rotten-scoundrels we are. I don’t want honesty to be the only virtue I possess; I want to change.

i want to change. i’ve actually been asking myself lately, what good is posting how i feel on this blog if there is no change behind it? it’s kinda the equivalent of cyber vomit… eww. got a lot to process with the Lord, or maybe i need to stop processing, complaining, explaining how i feel, etc. and just let Him speak ;-)