I’m a student again. And I am a fearful student.

I knew going in to this class (hermeneutics) that my professor, Dr. J, and I are very different. I spoke to plenty of people who have taken his classes before and became well aware that we approach things much differently. The best way I could describe our differences is as follows:

Lindsey thinks like this: A + B = C

Dr. J teaches like this: M + ½ of F + parts of T + X might = D but it could also = P or perhaps W.

After one night in class I felt that example summed it up well. But I also knew, for the various ways the Lord has been revealing and challenging me about my fears that this is exactly what the Lord wants. Even though I might think it’s best for me to be in a class with a professor that teaches linearly, I felt strongly, and still do, that the Lord desires me to be challenged in this way.

The first night of class started out fine, even though he called us to the front of the room in small groups to tell the class about ourselves (my introverted self was not to happy about this, but kind of expected this from him).

As the evening progressed it became more and more overwhelming to me. At one point he asked us what verse do we think is a good verse to show the importance of hermeneutics… my first thought was, “pleeeeaaaasssee do not make us tell the class what we think!” I kind of freak out under that kind of pressure and definitely could not think of a verse that fast, I was a little too concerned about being called on. Yes, I know this is ridiculous, but it’s really how I feel.

Then he continued to explain how our homework will be submitted—apparently we will submit it electronically for the entire class to see and comment on if they would like. This is horrifying to me! I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, nor do I process things quickly. It takes me quite some time to get my head around a concept and to have to share my thoughts with people in that way sounds simply awful to me. At least with blog posts I can decide when I’ll post and what I’ll talk about. Hence why I could go an entire month without posting—I have nothing to say.

Again, I see in this how the Lord is really trying to challenge me out of my fears. I have had the luxury the past few years; essentially since I graduated from undergrad, to stick to the activities I am good at naturally. This school thing is not something I am good at naturally but I want to be a better student of the Word and I know this will benefit my ministry, for others and myself.

Help me Lord!