i’m being tested right now, tested in fear. i really had no idea how much fear grips me. granted, it’s not every area of my life, but definitely in certain places. all of it circles around being vulnerable, risking humiliation and truly trusting God. all the while remembering and trying to understand that my God is not a God of feelings and emotions, but a God of Truth. feelings and emotions come and go and aren’t all together bad, but the Truth never changes no matter how i might feel.

i took the liberty of “adjusting” a psalm the Lord showed me the other day:

Psalm 91:14-16
“Because he [Lindsey] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him [her];
I will protect him [her], for he [she] acknowledges my name.
He [She] will call upon me, and I will answer him [her];
I will be with him [her] in trouble,
I will deliver him [her] and honor him [her].
With long life will I satisfy him [her]
and show him [her] my salvation.”

i’ve never been consistent with memorizing scripture, yet i’ve known for a long time that i need to be… so here i am being honest and vulnerable, seeking accountability (in a weird, internet cyber-oriented world). if i am going to fight off these fears, fears that only come from the enemy, then i must lift up my sword. but how can i lift up my sword if i don’t have it in my hand (in this case, in my head)? so hears to memorizing these verses as well as the memory verses from my church (psalm 37:3-6). Lord help me!

maybe this will bless someone else as well :-)

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